Tag Archives: Iris Krasnow

“Can You Love Two Men at Once?”

13 Mar

That is the title of this Huffington post article, by Iris Krasnow (who wrote the book, as they say.)

It’s a subject close to my heart. I have “men friends” and, at times, the friendship has been very close. I have never been sexual with another man, but I have been flirty. And I have been very very emotionally attached. I’m not going to go into that right now. Instead, I’ll share a few excerpts from the article, while I process it a bit.

“The chapter on flirty friendships in my book “The Secret Lives of Wives” has prompted a deluge of mail from wives who swear by their boyfriends-with-boundaries, men they love in their hearts and not with their loins. These flirtations can spice up the gray corridors of a long marriage. Feeling sexually and cerebrally charged by others beyond a primary relationship is a natural response of the human animal. And when kept within limits, who can deny that it feels good?

Men we aren’t married to find us smart and extraordinary because they don’t live with us in the grind of ordinary life, with kids, mortgages and sinks strewn with toothpaste and their newly shaved facial hair. In old boyfriends, we find our lost youth; in new men friends, we get the endorphin rush of being on a first date. The trouble starts when sexual crackle between two people who aren’t married to each other erupts into a roaring bonfire love, an urgent attraction that is both dangerous and delicious.”

And this, her concluding thought:

“Fantasy is too often better than reality. A new boyfriend becomes an old boyfriend who probably shakes gross facial hair off his razor into the sink like that yucky husband of yours does. Holding a flirtation at arms length allows you to sustain the alluring mystery.”

Thoughts?

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