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Reclaiming Our Bodies as Sexual Objects

12 Jul

Several years ago, I found myself in the middle of end-of-semester crunch time, working long days that lasted well into the night.  I ended up at my boyfriend’s place, hoping that a change of venue would eliminate some of my distractions and jump start my productivity.  It did.  J was incredibly supportive.  He made me meals, read with a thoughtful and critical eye when I needed feedback, and dragged me out for walks in the nearby garden when I got stumped and needed a break.

One night, in place of a walk, we cuddled and talked and ended up making out.  In the middle of doing so, J sat back and looked at me with so much raw desire in his eyes.  It made me feel powerful.  I loved the way he was looking at me.  I loved that my body could elicit such raw sexual desire from this intelligent, confident, gorgeous, amazing man.  So I told him–“I love the way you’re looking at me.”  J misunderstood.  He immediately responded, apologetically, “I’m not thinking much at the moment.”  He thought I was saying that I loved the way he felt about me as represented by how he was looking at me.  I wasn’t. Continue reading