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Are young Mormons still “waiting” for marriage?

16 Nov

While browsing around the web tonight (as I am wont to do), I stumbled across this an article about why young Christians aren’t waiting for sex anymore at CNN’s Belief Blog.  And it got me wondering whether young Mormons are still waiting.  In brief the blog post makes the following points: Continue reading

Don’t Miss: Jacob Baker’s “Discovering Who We Are”

8 Jun

Excerpts from Jacob Baker’s Discovering Who We Are: Sexuality, Temptation, and Talking about Sex and Sexuality. Jacob is a doctoral student in Philosophy of Religion and Theology from Claremont Graduate University.  This address was originally given to the young single adults of the East Los Angeles Stake on November 21, 2010. If you appreciate the quotes, please be sure to read the full article, which is excellent.

How do we talk truthfully about sex and sexuality? The answer to this question is important because it will help decide how we orient ourselves to our sexual natures, and that orientation will determine our sexual behavior. Are you terrified of sexuality? Don’t ever want to go near it or talk about it or learn more about it? Are you obsessed with your sexual nature, not ever seeming able to fulfill it completely, unable to get enough of what you think sex is? Are you promiscuous, never able to stay with just one person (whether you are sexually active or not)? Are you a person who can’t get enough of the sexual power you hold over the opposite sex and thrill to how you can get them to do, think, and say whatever you want with that power? Can you only deal with your sexual nature alone in the bedroom with the door locked, where you are in control and no one but you tells you what to think, say, or do about sexuality?  Is pornography the only real contact or understanding you have of sexuality, the only place you feel safe with sexuality? Or maybe you have a “healthy” orientation toward sexuality and understand it on multiple levels, and have found a peaceful balance of your sexuality with other positive aspects of your life.  If any of this describes you, whether now or in the past, this is in large part due to how you were taught (most of the time indirectly) to talk and think about sex and sexuality. Continue reading

The Talk

4 Jun

By way of introduction: I am a mid-40s married mother of two, active in the church, with a calling and a temple recommend. I remember having sexual feelings in my late single-digits and tweens, not feeling particularly unhappy about them, and don’t carry all that much baggage about the way the church teaches sexuality. I got an early grounding in the extremes of human sexuality thanks to a long-forgotten book in my parents’ sparse library and a serendipitous find in a bookshop. Thank you, Dr. Reuben and Ms. Friday.

My daughter is 8 and has been inching toward trying to figure out how babies get in their mommies’ tummies for a while now. A couple of months ago I tried to explain the most basic of basics because, well, she’s not going to understand what I want to tell her. She really just wanted to know how it was accomplished and I tried to describe it in words she could understand. I still don’t think her brain has the parts correctly situated yet.

What I want to tell her is: Continue reading

being broken, getting bigger

27 May

A few years ago I found myself developing a friendship that I knew was going to break my heart

Knowing that didn’t keep me from jumping in.  I wanted this, I needed this.

Instead, the mental note I made to myself was that I needed to make my life bigger.  So that when it all when to hell and I was left broken and hurting, I would have enough support to fall back on. Continue reading