Tag Archives: body image

Doing it Daily

10 Oct

There was an interesting conversation on another thread here, about having daily sex. While I like frequent sex, I had never really considered making something a goal, myself.  Gavin was the one who shared a link about Charla Muller’s gift to her husband on his 4oth birthday:  To have sex with him every day for a year!!

A few excerpts:

“…disappointingly for Charla, the mother of two young children, even Brad thought the idea was a bit, well, unrealistic. She had been expecting whoops of delight and much punching of the ceiling when she told him of his gift. Instead, she got sheer bafflement.   Then, to my horror, he declined the whole thing, saying that he didn’t want me to feel that I had to have sex with him – like it was some sort of duty,’ says Charla. ‘He actually walked away from me, saying we would discuss it later. I was quite deflated….  She eventually convinced the skeptical Brad that her offer was bona fide, and in July 2006 they embarked on what she would eventually dub the Dance Of The Daily Deed….”

“…Charla is the most unlikely sex guru. Church-going and cookie-baking, she exudes wholesomeness. Physically, she admits to being ‘sturdily built’ and is on the wrong side of 40. I’m hardly a sex kitten,’ she says. ‘But then, how many people are? That is the point….”

“…We did have to sit down with the wall planner going: “Well, we have that PTA meeting on Wednesday and you are away for business on Thursday, so we’ll have to have sex on Monday evening and Tuesday morning. Brad was appalled at first. His view of sex was that it had to be spontaneous and of the moment.  I always thought that was rubbish. How can it be spontaneous in the middle of family life? So we had to compromise a bit. As it went on, I scheduled it, but tried not to make him aware of how much I was scheduling it…”

“The sex itself wasn’t a disaster and didn’t become jaded because of the frequency.  Far from it,’ says Charla. ‘Because we were having sex so often, it actually took the pressure off, which was really liberating.'”

“My self-confidence was greatly improved, too. I’d always been one of those women who told herself she would want sex more if she just lost 10lb and felt a bit more sexy. Now, I realize feeling sexy isn’t about being thin or gorgeous. My husband desired me as I was – it was just a case of accepting that….”

Anyhow, I am curious. I know at least a few of you have tried this, how is it going? Meanwhile, what is your take on the frequency of sex. Daily is obviously not everyone’s norm… what works for you? How have your own sexual routines settled (ie, do you have “that night of the week” or what?)

I encourage any of you who have MORE to say on the subject to please submit a guest post to mormonmissionaryposition@gmail.com

meanwhile… yah. another Flight of the Concords music video. How Can I resist?

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what sexy *looks* like

9 Jul

Had a thought today, inspired in part by both my recent feelings of unsexy-ness and by Patty B’s insightful comment about Amanda Palmer’s Map of Tasmania music vid.  That thought was “what does sexy *look* like to me/you”?

A while back I read Female Chauvinist Pigs by  Ariel Levy. A fascinating critique of the rise of raunch culture, I highly sugggest it.  More about it here and here.  But here’s the excerpt I am thinking of:

“Raunch culture is not about opening our minds to the possibilities and mysteries of sexuality. It’s about endlessly reiterating one particular- and particularly commercial- shorthand for sexiness.”

“If we were to acknowledge that sexuality is personal and unique, it would become unwieldily. Making sexiness into something quantifiable makes it easier to market… big boobs, bleached blond hair, long nails, poles, thongs… you can sell it. Suddenly sex requires shopping; you need plastic surgery, peroxide, a manicure, a mall.”

It makes me question what it takes to make me feel “sexy”. Continue reading

Body Parts

17 Jun

Since Lucinda gave the heads up about the modesty convo going on over at New Cool Thang, I have decided I simply MUST share this absolutely FABULOUS blog post written by Kristina, about Body Image, Marriage, Nudity, and Sexuality.  About nudist beaches and fearing a boudoir photography session.  About aging and how our bodies change over time.  About how we judge other’s bodies, and about intimacy with the ones we love.  Continue reading