some of my favorite positions

18 Jul

(Yep, another post about sex positions.  I haven’t included diagrams in the post this time, just links, so you can click ‘read more’ here without seeing any Not Safe For Work imagery.)

Some of my favorite sexual positions are variations on rear entry (aka doggy style) like Boys on the Side,  Half-Doggy Style, and Linguini.  (Those links are to the Cosmopolitan Magazine series on all the various Karma Sutra positions.  I just scanned through the pics till I found ones similar to what DH and I do. Tasteful diagrams, interesting write up on the pros and the cons of each position.)

It used to surprise me that I like the sexual positions where we are not face to face, but that’s how it is. These ones give me a good deep penetration.  And, if I’m being introspective, the little extra distance between our heads gives me a bit more space to fantasize? Not exactly sure about that, but it’s a thought.

Ironically, I often don’t reach orgasm just from sex in these positions.  That usually that requires some other stimulation either before or after. But still, I sure do like these ones.

Sheesh, you ever look through some of those Karma Sutra positions charts and think “my body just does not move in that way?”  Seriously, I think a lot of them are just novelty: “oh look, we can make it fit!”  Then again… novelty can be nice 🙂

DH and I, we mostly just experiment just the two of us… but one of these days, we’re gonna really do our homework: study the diagrams and explanations and we’re gonna try one of those crazy ones.

So, anyhow…  I’m curious (if you are up for sharing)… what kind of positions work well for you? Which don’t? How do you go about introducing a new position to your partner? Etc.

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19 Responses to “some of my favorite positions”

  1. Lucy W. July 18, 2011 at 10:44 pm #

    Thanks, Sister Eliza!

    Re not achieving orgasm in rear-entry or variant: I don’t either. I need clitoral stimulation or G-spot stimulation and those don’t do that for me.

  2. Eliza R. July 18, 2011 at 10:47 pm #

    you’re welcome sister lucy!

    I do get some good G-spot stimulation from some of these ones… but not enough to bring me to full orgasm (maybe if we went longer?) But I still just love mmMMMm mmMMmm love ’em. 😛

  3. Mouse July 19, 2011 at 2:19 am #

    I love any sort of from behind position, but my absolute favourite is both of my legs thrown over his shoulders. It is difficult to maintain, but feels amazing. I also prefer squatting to kneeling when I’m on top, but my thighs normally give out before too long!

    At the moment we’re pretty much restricted to spoons and the variations you can achieve, and most of the time those are accidental. Sometimes we manage to get into some strange scissor type positions where you can just rock against each other and grab on to each other’s legs for leverage, and occasionally we manage to almost reach the legs over the shoulders lying down, which is nice but difficult to get into. I don’t think we could do it if we set out to.

  4. VirginAskingQuestions July 19, 2011 at 5:35 am #

    Have you guys ever tried a position and absolutely hated it? Or is it more like… well, THAT one didn’t work, let’s try something else?

  5. Eliza R. July 19, 2011 at 7:57 am #

    mouse~ yes! I also like the ones with my legs up over his chest or shoulders!

    VirginAskingQuestions~ yep. well, usually not *hated* it, but more like ‘well, that didn’t work, let’s go back to something that does’.

    Hehehe, frequently it happens when trying to replicate some fantasy position, only to find it doesn’t work so good for us in real life. For example: Sex up against a wall: I LOVE the thought of it. But in real life, I’m too heavy & DH doesn’t have the upper body strength, so I end up sliding down too far.

    But I do suspect that with a little practice and research, some of those more difficult positions would because quite awesome.

  6. Mouse July 19, 2011 at 8:58 am #

    I don’t like the reverse cowgirl. It is difficult to get into and just feels awkward and I’m always afraid of coming down too hard at the wrong angle and hurting my husband.

  7. Fanny A July 19, 2011 at 9:39 am #

    I love reverse cowgirl 😉 Ditto up-against-the-wall.

    VirginAskingQuestions- the funny thing about positions it that body size and shape play a big part in what works with each couple. A couple who are close to the same height will have an easy time with some positions, and not with others, and ditto a couple with a large height difference.

  8. KaralynZ July 19, 2011 at 5:05 pm #

    I have *always* wanted to try up against the wall but while my husband is the most attentive of lovers, he has some medical issues with his back that make it not possible. Also? He only outweighs me by 10 lbs or so.

    To ‘virgin asking questions’ – yeah it’s rarely “i hate that!” and more frequently “well that was uncomfortable/impossible to sustain/boring.” I tend to find any excitement from trying a new position is in no way able to win out if it just doesn’t feel as good as one of the variants of our three stand-by’s. (Him on top, me on top, from behind with me bent over the bed.)

    I will also say that I was *really* hesitant to try new positions the first year or so we were married, extremely any variant of doggy style, because I was worried it would… I’m not sure, make him less emotionally connected to me. We got over that by a year and a half or so I think is the first time I remember trying it.

    On a tangent, one of my all-time favorite quotes from the TV show Dharma and Greg (which I loved) is the season where she’s recovering from her accident and they go to her doctor with a copy of the Kama Sutra and she’s all “Am I officially recovered enough to do this?” The doctor looks and responds with “You could do that BEFORE?”
    Dharma says proudly, “I’m a yoga instructor.”
    Doctor: “Yeah, but he’s just a lawyer.”

  9. Anonymous July 19, 2011 at 6:11 pm #

    Can I be super blunt? Feel free to delete if this is too graphic for other readers….

  10. Anonymous July 19, 2011 at 6:14 pm #

    Whoops, that comment didn’t work. What I was going to say was, whenever DH and I try to do a different position, he just gets squeezed out. Without me actually doing any squeezing on purpose. It just sort of…happens. Does this happen to anyone else? Or do I just have an unusually “squeezy” vagina?

  11. KaralynZ July 19, 2011 at 8:13 pm #

    I also just want to say that I hope you keep asking lots of questions, because I would have given my right arm to have someone to talk about this kind of thing to before I started having sex, and *especially* when I was engaged and worrying about everything under the sun.

  12. VirginAskingQuestions July 20, 2011 at 3:20 am #

    KaralynZ – You bet your boots I’ll keep asking questions. While I did get the sex talk from my mom… probably around age 10 or 11, and I ALSO know that my mom took my sisterss to her room for an extra little talk before the wedding (that no amount of begging got me into) and presumably (if I ever get married) I’ll get the same talk. BUT, being incredibly curious, it’s nice to know that I can ask questions online and get… you know… ACTUAL answers instead of vague euphemisms or, I’ll tell you when you’re older/engaged.

  13. Fanny A July 20, 2011 at 1:14 pm #

    Anon- I have no for certain idea, but I would guess it’s not that you have a particularly “squeezy” vagina. Quite often a size-differential is at play in keeping penetration during different positions. That differential is at play in both of your bodies- and a position that would be sustainable with one physiology might not be with another. What you have to do is just keep experimenting and find out what works for you and your DH’s body type. Kudos to you for keeping trying.

  14. Eliza R. July 20, 2011 at 1:16 pm #

    anonymous~ we *so* don’t mind you (or anyone) being super blunt here. We like blunt. a lot. 🙂

    Now, me, I’ve had a lot of extra ‘slippage’ in certain positions (“opps!, we disconnected again”) but not so much squeezed out.

    Is it a problem (ie, painful? or gets in the way of sexual satisfaction?)

  15. Gorihor July 21, 2011 at 9:03 am #

    Wonderful blog – hope my comments can add some further insight and candor to the discussion (from those of us saddled with a Y chromosome)

    Boys on the Side – I quite enjoy this one but for some reason it doesn’t work everytime. When it does, what i find unique is the straddling sensation on my wife’s thigh and the tension I can build via squeezing her thigh between mine and the pressure on my testicles.

    Half Doggy – Not part of our usual routine. Seems like it is more of a rotation of the BotS from above. With these types of ‘leg straddle’ positions there is a lot of experimentation as far as what angle is going to work the best. Can be kinda fun rotating around each other – especially if you are trying to maintain penetration whilst doing so.

    Linguini – Can’t say that I can ever recall trying it. Maybe I’ll report back tomorrow 😉

    My favorites (and I should check the other positions post to see if they were mentioned) is the plough and the anvil.

    To echo many comments above – trying new positions is always a gamble (a fun one at least) where many things that you imagine don’t always work despite your best intentions.

    As for squeezy/anonymous – A squeezy vagina is something to be proud of but probably not what is causing the issue. More likely it is due to the length of his penis and/or the angle of his erection. There are a few positions where I am just not long enough to maintain penetration and it does kinda feel like I am being squeezed out. There are others where the angles required put a lot of torque (?) on the way my erection is angled and it will suddenly ‘slingshot’ out.

  16. Corktree August 2, 2011 at 10:16 am #

    Over time we’ve stumbled into a lot of positions that I can’t believe we made work, but what I’ve really noticed is how my sensitivity to certain positions is changing over time. Rear entry was the only one that gave me any pleasure without manual stim, but now just about any will make my V happy – not to orgasm necessarily, but it’s nice to experience pleasure without having to work for it sometimes. After 4 kids, I’m wondering if this shift is purely age and hormone related, or because I got good at my kegels, but it’s nice to not feel so limited by positions anymore, and way more interesting!

  17. Celeste August 16, 2011 at 12:08 pm #

    For as kinky and adventurous as we are / I am, I occasionally struggle with body image issues that definitely impact positional preference. My all-time favourite is being bent over the bed – allows for awesome penetration, and it’s the best angle for me to “milk” him (I’m sorry, I can’t think of a less….potentially offensive….way of saying that.) Yay Kegels!

    My least favourite is being on top, with him laying flat, but he likes it. In fact, I would say that pretty much hate being on top. I’ll do it, but I get all self-conscious and crap, and it’s freaking exausting sometimes. LoL Now, straddling him on the couch or something is different 😀 Maybe because I have something to hold on to?

  18. Patty B. September 12, 2011 at 2:48 pm #

    okay, so I have a new partner. And the sex has been absolutely phenomenal. And it has reminded me how very, very much I love having sex that starts out in missionary position and then ends up with my legs up across his chest and over his shoulders. Damn that just hits the spot. and it lets me keep my legs relatively close together, which makes it feel even more amazing.

  19. cautious May 31, 2012 at 4:50 pm #

    Why is it my wife will participate in occasional wild or “naughty sex” defined as will touch herself and be broken over it for a while. But will do oral, hand jobs and allow fingering (and likes it). How are those activities different? And the thought of a vibrator she always days no to. I don’t get it. So its natural/ok for the guy to orgasm but not for the girl who needs more than the missionary position?

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