stressed out and sexless. (Yes, I’m pouting)

6 Jul

So our little family just went through a rather stressful move and we are barely now starting to feel a bit more settled in, finding our new rhythms, adjusting…

But sex hasn’t come back yet. >:{

Right before the move, leading up to it, we were having sex quite a bit (our mutual method of dealing the the stress and trauma of leaving a painful situation)  In addition to that, I was  masturbating quite a bit too: my personal way of dealing with stress.

But now we’re in the new place… and no action is forthcoming.

(Well, I take that back, we had sex once but I wasn’t able to come.  Close… but not all the way.  Which is worse, imho, than none at all.)

Even with my vibrator:  it’s like my clitorus has closed up shop for a while, like she’s hiding out somewhere, pouting, giving me the silent treatment. The little bitch.

 

Anyhow, I’m hoping *that* rhythm comes back. eventually. :-/

 

Meanwhile… the move also shot to hell my personal maintenance routines. My eyebrows need waxing, my face cleaning routine got jilted so my complexion is all messed up, my hair needs both cutting and coloring…. I’m really a pretty low maintenance gal, but the little things I *do* do make a difference.  I need some prettying up.  I may even spring for a facial (or even microderm abrasion) to try to get some freshness back.

And maybe get something sexy to wear to bed. It’s been a while since I’ve done that.  (I wear that stuff  just for me, btw.  But if he likes it too, BONUS.)

 

Okay, done pouting now.  Thanks for listening 🙂

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13 Responses to “stressed out and sexless. (Yes, I’m pouting)”

  1. E July 6, 2011 at 8:49 pm #

    Just a thought, but maybe once you catch up on your personal routine (the hair, the skin the boudoir outfit…) Little Miss will come out and want to play again. And then maybe the Mr. will too. 😀

  2. Whitney July 6, 2011 at 8:59 pm #

    It’s tough to feel sexy when you have zits. And some of us are blessed to have them well past puberty.

  3. ceridwen July 6, 2011 at 9:39 pm #

    I hear ya….though we haven’t moved, the sex in our marriage is near zero. Once in the last six months – it’s been a problem for the last two years. I’m dying here! He “just isn’t that interested”. Thank goodness for masturbating in the shower. Here’s hoping Little Miss gets her happy on soon!

  4. Moriah Jovan July 7, 2011 at 8:47 am #

    I agree with the commenters. Your libido is probably responding to hownyou feel about your girlybits (in this case, skin, hair, eyebrows), and clearly you’re not feeling attractive. Why WOULD your clit be responsive if you’re feeling like crap?

  5. Anon July 7, 2011 at 9:23 am #

    So… I’m threadjacking…Virgin asking questions… so obviously we hear all the time about how great orgasms are and even the OP mentioned that sex without an orgasm is worse than no sex at all, so I was wondering is there ANY redeeming value to sex without an orgasm? Can’t it still be nice and create a closeness? OR is it just horrible and not fun without it. OR was it just that (in that instance mentioned above) you were REALLY close and then couldn’t come which made it not so good because it was frustrating? Silly questions, but I am curious.

    Anywho… backing away from threadjack – maybe you could take a day (or weekend) for yourself and go to the spa and get yourself all prettied up and relaxed … maybe that would help.

  6. mfranti July 7, 2011 at 9:24 am #

    “Why WOULD your clit be responsive if you’re feeling like crap?”

    new facebook status?

  7. Fanny A July 7, 2011 at 10:06 am #

    It’s not a silly question, Anon. I can’t speak for Eliza, but I think in this case (and in my own experience) it’s being _that_ close and not getting there. Sex without an orgasm can be wonderful, fun, and create a lot of closeness and intimacy.

    I actually think approaching sex as a goal-oriented activity is a mistake- at least on a regular basis. It’s a journey- and an orgasm is wonderful, but you miss some of the beauty along the way if you are only focusing on “getting there”. (and that’s not at all what my sister Eliza was saying, I understand).

  8. Eliza R July 7, 2011 at 10:27 am #

    thanks ladies for your responses (and for bearing with me while I pout).

    anon~ GREAT question, thank you so much for asking. Me and my partner frequently have sex where I do not climax and I find it extremely fulfilling: the closeness, the intimacy, the thrill of having given him pleasure, etc… also, even though I may not always “climax” per se, the act of sex is very physically pleasurable to me.

    The frustration I mention here is merely that a climax *was* sort of teasing around the edges so partner and I both worked really hard to try to get it to come out, but it wouldn’t: The end result was just being worn out. Whereas if it had just been a great quickie, no pressure to come, it would probably have been really fun.

    (in other words: Yes, What Fanny said 🙂

  9. Eliza R July 7, 2011 at 10:30 am #

    (btw, anon, hope you don’t mind, I’m going to make your question a jumping off point for a whole post on just that topic)

  10. KaralynZ July 7, 2011 at 12:24 pm #

    We’ve had family visiting for the last two weeks. Puts me out of my groove so to speak – I get so caught up in being the “person I am around the parents” it’s hard to switch easily back to “sexy mode”. But mom flies out tonight so hopefully this weekend will improve.

  11. Anon July 7, 2011 at 1:34 pm #

    Nope, Eliza, I don’t mind. It’s why I asked in the first place. And also why I’m Anonymous – so I don’t feel TOO silly asking. Gonna read the new post NOW!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. the elusive “O” « Missionary Position - July 7, 2011

    […] as part of my little rant the other day (btw, I am feeling much better now, thanks) I mentioned having sex but not climaxing […]

  2. what sexy *looks* like « Missionary Position - July 9, 2011

    […] a thought today, inspired in part by both by my recent feelings of unsexy-ness and by Patty B’s insightful comment about Amanda Palmer’s Map of Tasmania music vid. […]

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