We don’t have it all figured out.

27 Jun

And we’re not saying we do.

We know things, probably more than the average LDS woman (or that she’d admit to knowing), and we’re not particularly shy about sharing those things.

However, we’ve been caught by surprise by the deep level of need displayed here and in private, and we think we have to backtrack and we’re trying to figure out a revised agenda. As Sister-Wife Fanny said in her previous, most excellent post, we (as a culture) don’t even seem to have the vocabulary to tackle this discussion.

Please know that we are trying to formulate some way of creating a vocabulary for us or defining the current vocabulary for you, some way to better address the needs expressed to us.

We have a lot of lost people out there in Faithful Mormon Township who are hurting in silence. The gospel is supposed to bring us joy and freedom, not pain and fear.

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6 Responses to “We don’t have it all figured out.”

  1. Moriah Jovan June 27, 2011 at 1:54 pm #

    I like that you guys seem to be trying to do something positive and helpful (maybe even empowering?), and not salacious.

    Thank you.

  2. merkin4 June 29, 2011 at 12:29 pm #

    Not only do we not have a vocabulary, it seems like we’re pretty intent on not developing a vocabulary. I remember lots of instruction at church about “necking and petting”, but never with definition of terms. My mission president danced around the subject with a long lecture for departing missionaries about the dangers of “French kissing or soul kissing” and how we should imagine him hitting us upside the head with a 2×4 if we ever found ourselves in that situation.

    There does seem to be some progress on some issues. Prohibitions on birth control used to be featured in a lot more discussions. Now, we’re just told that it’s up to us and the Lord. Brigham Young came down pretty hard on the topic long ago, promising much sadness and misery in this life and in the life to come for those couples who used it.

    Just once, I’d love to have an elder’s quorum lesson where we are told “Skipping foreplay is a sin.”

  3. Lucy W June 29, 2011 at 1:35 pm #

    Thank you, merkin4, and you’re exactly right. Nobody defined “chaste.” What are you abstaining from? Nobody defined “necking and petting.” What are you not supposed to be doing? There was no way to connect what one read in books and magazines with what was taught because there was no common vocabulary.

    So we (okay, *I*) started out thinking we’d talk about masturbation and sexual fantasies and fetishes and kink… And suddenly we (okay, *I*) have been brought up short by the fact that we’re still at Middle School Health Class level.

  4. Enna July 6, 2011 at 7:54 pm #

    I have really been loving this site! Thanks for doing this. I wonder if some junior high health lessons might actually be in order. Some “this is your anatomy and here’s what it does and why” may be helpful along with the spicier posts…

  5. Fanny A July 6, 2011 at 7:55 pm #

    Enna, check this one out:
    https://mormonmissionaryposition.wordpress.com/2011/06/07/know-your-body/

  6. Enna July 7, 2011 at 4:09 pm #

    Yes, exactly like that!! (obviously, I’m still looking through the older posts…)

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