The Big Question

8 Jun

Before I start posting real, in depth posts. I’m curious about one thing. How big of a role should religion play in one’s sexuality? Should a religion be allowed to dictate the ins and outs of my body and what I do with it?

Why or why not.

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14 Responses to “The Big Question”

  1. Lucy W June 8, 2011 at 1:34 pm #

    That’s a HUGE question. Abrahamic religions have always inserted themselves into one’s sexuality via one influential person’s personal opinions (St. Paul, St. Augustine, Queen Victoria), via money (the Roman Catholic Church’s ban on its clergy marrying), via primogeniture (lines of nobility, mandatory maternal Judaism [i.e., shiksa]), via ritual abuse of women simply for existing (Sharia law).

    One’s sexuality is inherently bound up in any Abrahamic religion and usually not for the sake of sexuality itself, but for purposes of determining lineage and propagating the religion.

    IMO, it’s always been used as a tool to control other things, not an end in itself.

  2. elizaR June 8, 2011 at 2:44 pm #

    I’ve mostly walked away from organized religion. So obviously, I don’t want it between my legs or in my bedroom (or back seat of the car). But that’s just me.

    very VERY curious how the rest of the responses will go.

    (hmmm… wonder if you can use one of those spiffy poll taking apps to chart the responses, it would be interested to see it graphed out.)

  3. Kevin Barney June 8, 2011 at 3:18 pm #

    I think religion properly plays a role in *who* one has sex with. That is, religion plays a major role in encouraging fidelity within marriage, which is a good thing. But once you’re married, what goes on in your bedroom ought to be completely up to you, and the Church shouldn’t even try to regulate it (a la old attempts to proscribe birth control or oral sex).

  4. Fanny A June 8, 2011 at 3:34 pm #

    I think religion plays a roll in my sexuality insofar as it helps form my identity, my frame of reference in interacting with other human beings and how I treat myself and those I love. My faith is woven into who I am, and thus is naturally a factor in how I express myself.

    As a card-carrying member of the mainstream LDS church, I understand and generally support the church’s stance of many things pertaining to faith. However, I most emphatically do not look to my church for specific teaching in what goes on in the privacy of my marriage (or not). I have been taught correct principles about the gospel of Christ, and how I apply those principles to my life is a personal matter. Period.

    I’m glad the church pretty much stays out of this matter now- like Kevin Barney said above. The elephant in the room is that my gay brothers and sisters are not allowed to express themselves sexually in a sanctified manner, despite their faith. But that’s a post for another day- and probably on another blog- do sex and politics mix?

  5. Sylvia Lyon June 8, 2011 at 10:29 pm #

    So, is there every a time to have sexuality be *for sexuality itself*?

  6. Sylvia Lyon June 8, 2011 at 10:31 pm #

    How do I make one! I wanted to, but I didn’t have the time to figure it out! Maybe you can help? I have the feeling you were one of the more tech savvy of the wives.

    I love “I don’t want it between my legs.”

  7. Sylvia Lyon June 8, 2011 at 10:32 pm #

    Kevin, are you saying that I wouldn’t know who to have “proper” sex with if I were an atheist?

  8. Sylvia Lyon June 8, 2011 at 10:34 pm #

    I would add to your “gay brothers and sisters” your single brothers and sisters, too, if they are active card carrying members. When I was a card carrying member, my gay friends and I felt equally unable to express ourselves. However, that was a very basic connection as there are a lot more hurdles one would have to manage being gay in the church.

  9. Lucy W June 9, 2011 at 8:53 am #

    I’ve been thinking about this since you posted, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t think there is, no. I’m willing to be proven wrong.

  10. Lucy W June 9, 2011 at 8:56 am #

    Well, there’s a class of people in the church that we forget, and that’s the Unwanteds. Those who will never have love or intimacy because they are not attractive in some way. Not only can they not find love and intimacy within the context of church, they probably wouldn’t be able to find it outside it, either.

    Perversely, these are probably the people who need it most, and are most vulnerable to succumb to any hint of a whiff of intimacy, no matter the consequence.

  11. augusta a June 10, 2011 at 10:05 am #

    I’m not sure that “unwanted” group exists, Lucy W. Actual boots on the ground research by noted sexologist and lepidopterist Alfred Kinsey say that they don’t. I don’t think we can assume who is and sho isn’t having sex.

  12. E June 14, 2011 at 11:35 am #

    Oh, I’d say the “unwanted” group is very much in existence–but it’s more from the point of view of the individual “Unwanted.” I’ve felt that way many, many times, being in my 40s and unmarried, and having had next to no dating experience. I’m a fat (but cute!) woman, with a crooked face (although that’s only been for the last 15 or so years)–what else am I supposed to think? But then I look around and see plenty of fat or otherwise not-physically-perfect sisters who got married. It leaves me thinking either “well, Heavenly Father must have something much, much better in store for me”, or “sh*t, I must be REALLY AWFUL if I haven’t had even so much as a date in the last 20 years, never mind getting married.”

  13. Sylvia L. July 5, 2011 at 12:32 am #

    E, do you think religion has stunted your sexuality–or do you think religion or not, your sexual history would be the same?

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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    […] And because Sylvia has recently asked What the role of Religion is in our Sexuality… […]

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